You’re an Overcomer – Saying Goodbye To a Child

May 21st video-1-49 copy May has been a difficult month for me for the past 7 years. It brings with it so many heartbreaking memories. Every May is full of tears, agony and grief. This May has been especially hard.

There’s no easy way of saying this, but we’ve been transparent in sharing our story with you from the very beginning, so I knew this was a post I had to write. On May 20th, we had to say good bye to Danny. I won’t go into any details, but Danny is going to be adopted by another family.

Click on the link below to watch the video.

May 21st – Small

The song is by Mandisa, Overcomer. One of my all time favorite songs. Watch the original video. It’s so inspiring and much better than mine. 

This month has been bittersweet on so many levels. It was very eventful to say the least, and that’s probably very helpful. I suppose the solution to not drowning in pain is to fill your life with so much activity, that you don’t have any time to think. We’ve been house hunting, going to the BlogHer conference, welcomed a new niece to the family and are currently having lots of family visiting. (We’re all very excited about baby Madeline. She is already absolutely adored by us all!)

I don’t even know how to describe the feelings that have had me on an emotional roller coaster. We knew when we became foster parents that we would have to say good bye to children who would become so much a part of our family. Knowing is one thing, but actually going through the pain is another – it’s so much more raw. How do you say good bye to a child who has been with you for seven months? The last few weeks of trying to keep smiling and give Danny happy memories, not memories of a crying Mama, were nearly impossible at times.

It helps to know that he will be with a loving family, but that doesn’t stop the pain of losing him. It doesn’t stop the questions, doubts and constant tears. How many children will I have to say good bye to before I have a child I can call my own?

Do we sometimes want to quit? All the time. So many times I just want to stop fostering and get back to my comfortable life. It would be so much easier to be just the two of us. We’re happy together and we wouldn’t have to keep saying good bye to children. The children are what stops us, though. The seven months that Daniel was part of our family were so much richer, happier and so much more fulfilling. I don’t want to avoid heartache because that means saying “No” to something that is so rewarding. I see the faces of the children that have been with our family and I know that it’s worth it.

I know there are some of you who are going through some rough things. I want to encourage you not to give up. “Whatever it is that you are going through, don’t let it get the best of you.” We’ve been through a lot in our short married life, and I can honestly say that if it wasn’t our faith and God holding us up through the dark days, we would have never been able to keep going forward. When I look back at all the things that have happened in the past 7 years, it seems like an awful nightmare and I have no idea how we even lived through it. There is absolutely no way that a human being can face so much heartache alone. God is the one who gives us the strength to put one foot in front of the other, wipe our tears away, and gives us a future where there is hope.

 

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  1. elena says

    Olga and Sergey,

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss u both just went through . May God comfort u as only he knows how to. Danny will be missed by us also. I will be praying for u two.

  2. Luba says

    Olga,

    I am so sorry to hear about this sad month for you! It even makes me cry myself, and I can only imagine how you must feel. May God help you through this all, and give you even more strength than you already have. You are an amazing family with Sergei and I know there will be a light at the end of this tunnel. Chin up, hand in God’s and it’ll be A-OK! I know words won’t just make the pain go away, so I will keep you in my prayers. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Dina says

    Aw, sorry to hear that Danny is leaving. I got used to seeing his sweet face in your pictures. I know that no amount of words will take away the pain, but I just want to encourage you in that you gave this child all your love and the rest is in Gods hands, he will take care of him and you. One day you’ll have your little bundle of joy, but for now these precious ones need a home and a loving heart. Not everyone can and are willing to do that, but you are, This Is Your Time. I’m praying for you.

  4. Talina says

    Olga,

    Reading your post brought tears to my eyes! I cannot even imagine what it is like to foster children that are not your own, to know that you will have them with you for only a short time and then you will have to give them up to someone else, and then the raw pain of actually letting them go… But you are right, not matter what we go through God is always faithful in His promises! I have come to know this through personal struggles, and not just as something that everyone repeats. Anyway, I know that no matter what I say it will offer very little comfort in this difficult time for you for God is the only true comforter. So I just wanted to share a Bible verse that is one of my favorites and always reminds me that God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and is still able to heal and comfort! The verse is from Isaiah 40:25-31. Blessings!
    *Oh, and just want to say: thank you for the awesome recipes! Makes cooking so much easier and funner :)

  5. Nina says

    My prayer for you with Sergey (:
    Just remember GOD WHEN CLOSE ONE DOOR …. ANOTHER DOOR WILL OPEN.
    SOmetimes we don’t understand GOD plans but “ЛЮБЯЩИМ ЕГО ВСЕ СОДЕЙСТВУЕТ КО БЛАГУ”

    GOD BLESS YOU!!!

  6. Luba. S. says

    Olga and Sergei

    I’m sorry for your loss. Reading this post made me sad. Just rememmber that God is always with us, He loves us, he had a special plan for you and Sergei, he will heal your heart and give you peace. You do such a wonderfull job, by providing home and wonderfull care for babies that needs it. May God bless you and your family and give you a child or your own.

    Thinking of you
    Gob Bless.

  7. Luba says

    Olga I tear too when I was reading about your little Danny . I have Danny who is 2 years too is very touchy. But I believe Lord will be with him ! You and your husband our amazing people full of love and passion ! Both of you doing hard work of God ! He is faithful and will reward you abundantly ! I will keep you guys in prayer to go thru this time. Thnk u for sharing your story and great recipes )))

  8. vita says

    You both are such an amazing couple. ..It is so wonderful for what you give these children. Especially new born baby, he needs to be held in the arms of those who care and give their smiles and whisper the blessings into their future, he need the most love and warmth in that early stage because they are so helpless… God sees the joy and the pain you are going trough. He will bless you at his timing with ur own bundle of joy. You are both blessed and I pray that God bless you and heal your hearts! !!!

  9. Oksana says

    I can’t read and watch your post without crying. I don’t even know how to express my sadness for you. God is watching out for you though. It takes someone strong to do what you do. But for the short time you have those babies, they are loved. Be blessed.

  10. Yelena says

    I heard a story once and believe it was true. Back in the old days one preacher came to a village and was telling people about Jesus. He also was going to families who just had babies and was asking their permission to pray for baby. Parents would let him pray. When all those babies grew up they became christians.
    You guys have been praying for those children for so long, I think this the best thing you are doing. I really hope that all those kids will be belivers when they grow up. God bless you and help you in this missionary work that you are doing

  11. Rachel Galea says

    Very sorry to hear about all the pain and heartache you are going through! As you said God will give you strength so keep believing and one day I’m sure you will be rewarded.

  12. Tania says

    Бог не пошлет мне больше боли,
    Чем я смогу перенести.
    Все бури и печаль -по воле
    Могучего меня спасти.

    Я верю в Бога. Кто посмеет,
    Фундамент мой поколебать?
    Он держит все, Он всем владеет,
    Он силен и сейчас спасать!

    Мне каждый день открыт источник,
    Дарящий щедро благодать.
    В нем ровно столько, сколько точно
    Мне нужно, что бы устоять.

    Бог неизменен. Пусть смеется
    Умелый враг; я не одна.
    От Бога сила мне дается,
    А я лишь только брать должна.

    Он не пошлет мне больше боли,
    А лишь по капле, по одной…
    И в каждой капле- Божья воля,
    И каждую Он пьет со мной….
    “““““““““““““

    ” О, безна богатства и премудрости и ведения Божия! Как непостижимо судьбы Его и несли дивы пути Его! Ибо кто познал ум Господен? Или кто был советником Ему? Или кто дал Ему наперед, чтобы Он должен был воздать? ИБО ВСЕ ОТ НЕГО, ИМ И К НЕМУ. Ему слава вовеки, аминь.” Рим 11:33-36

    Olga, I was so incredibly saddened by your news. I have a 7 month old son and my heart breaks with the tough of what you went through. This is a verse that helps me through hard times. Our Lord works in ways that we do not understand now. But He is our father and His love for us is never ending. My prayer is with you and your family.

  13. Katerina says

    Olga,

    My heart is breaking for your family. So sorry to hear about this. Praying for God to help you through this difficult time.

  14. natasha says

    Thank you for sharing your heart with us readers. We rejoice with you when you rejoice, and we cry with you when you are in tears. We are here lifting you and Sergei up in prayers.

  15. Inna says

    Hi Olga!
    I don’t know you in person but you sound like a really nice girl. I love reading your life stories, they make me happy and they make me cry. I love your attitude about everything, you are a big believer and just really strong person. I don’t think I could of handled all the sad things that happened in your life the way you did! I wish I could be like you, but when I read your stories they just encourage me to be stronger. I am really thankful to you that you are sharing this stories with us and to God most of all that he sent you to this world! I also have two boys of my own, and it really touched me that you have to give away one of your boys, I really cried and I can’t imagine what you are going through right now. Only God can heal all your sores. Please KEEP being strong it really matters for all of us who read your stories! God bless you!

  16. Inna says

    So heartbreaking to see you say goodbye and give Danny to another family may God help you thru this hard time and give you strength not to give up! I hope and pray that someday soon you will have the family that you are hoping and praying for. Thank you so much for sharing with us and opening your heart to us. That was a very emotional and touching video. Your family is in our prayers.

  17. Natalya says

    May God give you strength to go thou this hard time… I pray and hope that one day very soon you will be able to call of of those children yours… God bless you dear

  18. says

    Olga, I know this is so difficult, and I am so sorry to hear you are having to go through this. God Bless you for being a foster parent and putting those children first. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope you can find peace. Keep the faith that everything truly does happen for a reason. Having had our own challenges to face over the past 10 years, I have learned we don’t always understand or know the reason why we are faced with such burdens, but we must have faith there is a reason and all the pieces will fall into place eventually. Take care and keep the faith <3 ~Marion

  19. Melony says

    I just watched your video and cried through it all. You are such a strong and positive woman! May God comfort you dear, I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling. You and your hubby are the sweetest couple and I just love looking at your pics and reading your stories. I will keep your family in my prayers. I pray that one day you will have beautiful children you can call your own. Stay strong. ❤️

  20. Vanya cooper says

    Been lurking about your yummy blog for a while now but normally don’t post. But. What a shocker , really, warned or not , no one expects a Spanish Inquisition !

    Wishing you strength. Hopefully this is a stepping stone to an adoption of your own in near future.

    Xx

  21. says

    I’m so sorry for your loss!!((( I hope G-d will send you your own child very soon and you’ll be happy together!! You can be proud of days filled with happiness that you gave to this little baby..

  22. says

    I cant even imagine what it feels like for you. Stay strong, God loves you and your family very much. Just know that you got to not only care for the little child for the past 7 months, but you got to pray for him, you laid a spiritual foundation in his young life, that may last him for his whole life.

    Mat 18:5 и кто примет одно такое дитя во имя Мое, тот Меня принимает;

  23. Lena says

    You are in my prayers dear Olga. I am very sorry for all of these crosses. Remember that the man upstairs always has a plan that far exceeds our wildest expectations.

  24. says

    Hi Olga,

    I hardly ever have the time to try any of your recipes, but each time I visit your blog, it touches my heart. Just read through some of your past trials and wept.

    I’m an American living in Russia and volunteering in orphanages. I was so sad when they banned the adoptions. I want the kids I work with to find families so badly. Russian, American…it doesn’t matter, they just want a mother and father. It is such a test of faith to continue believing that God will provide for them. I’m not sure I can even watch your video because my own emotions are so raw sometimes…but I pray that you will find comfort.

  25. Tanya says

    Awww Olga, this post just brought tears to my eyes, I do not know you, but let me say you are a strong woman!! And your faith even stronger!! I hope God takes away your tears and pain and gives you peace and joy, I head this saying ” Focus on your problems and you will feel discouraged, Focus on your Blessings and you will feel encouraged!!” By having Danny in your home, you guys gave him a wonderful beginning!!!!! God bless this beautiful little boy, may God protect him in his new family!!!

  26. Anya says

    Olichka,
    So sorry to hear these news but remember that God is still good. He knows who your children will be and what an honor it was to care for Danny for that short while. My heart aches for you but we have hope in our Lord and He is faithful. Much love to your family.

  27. Adrienne says

    My heart breaks for you and your husband. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through. I pray God continues to give you strength.

  28. Sherri says

    Olga,
    I love your blog and all the original recipes you share with us. I went to Russia in January on a mission trip, and have enjoyed learning to cook some of your wonderful dishes.

    I am so sorry to hear that Danny has been adopted. I can’t imagine your pain, but I do know that God is there for you. Keep your focus on Him, lean on Him, and thank Him for the time you had with Danny. Know, too, that though parting with Danny is painful and hard, the time you had him was a huge blessing in HIS life….God put him in your life because of the love you were able to share with him.

    I believe God has a child for you; perhaps that baby hasn’t been born yet, but we know that God’s timing is perfect, and I know that He will bless you and Sergei at just the right time, with just the right child.

    God bless you for the love you share with these children, when they need it the most.

    Hugs,
    Sherri

  29. jules says

    praying for you Olga and Sergei. If you need to talk email me anytime our stories are very similar. From trying to adopt to health loss and having our child go to heaven. Yet waiting on a child from God . Praying for you

  30. Liliya says

    Olya, I have been avoiding reading this post for quite a while now. No time seemed right enough to cry my eyes out. I am so sorry to hear about Danny being adopted. I can only imagine the great foundation that you have established for the seven months that you and Sergi had him in you family. His new parents have so much to build from! I know a child that was adopted at the age of 2 into a great loving family and because of her horrible foster care experience never fully recovered and is now in her 30s! You have no idea the difference you have made! Stay strong and continue the path that only The Lord himself put it on your heart to carry out. You are a blessed woman!

  31. Olya says

    My heart goes out to you guys! I have been following your story and I’ve been scared of this happening :( I can say this You are an Overcomer! You know reading your posts, I have seen what great wife, mother and homemaker you are! You are such an encourager! And such a great example to me! Truly I say that from my heart! May God comfort you in this difficult time for you both. I pray for you, and most importantly for Danny, that his parents may raise him in love and to fear The Lord. May The Lord bless you and keep you guys! Stay strong, never give up, God has His hands over you!

  32. says

    oh dear Olga Im so sorry by you and I understand how you feel.
    Hope God blessed you soon with a child Im sure you and your husband would be amazing parents.
    Sometimes the life is really hard!!
    send you hugs.

  33. Yelena says

    Thank you for the encouraging words not to give up & to put all our trust into our loving Gods hands. Blessings beautiful soul.

  34. Olga G. says

    I’ll be praying for you and your family! You are true examples of living what you preach. Blessings to you and your husband.

  35. Tanya says

    I am soo sorry for your loss. It breaks my heart reading this and brings tears to my eyes. You have gone through so much. You are truly such an inspiration to others to never give up and always trust in God, even when its so hard to understand what God is trying to do. May God bless you guys.

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