I have been in my third trimester for the past few weeks, and let me tell you, it feels wonderful knowing how close we are to the delivery day. It sounds awesome to say that the baby will be born NEXT MONTH! As I have already explained before, I will be having a c-section the last week of February, when I am 37-38 weeks pregnant. I am so excited to meet this little guy. I can’t wait to see him and hold him in my arms.
I promised you a pregnancy update, since so many of you are writing e-mails and messages asking how I’m feeling and wishing us all the best. You are incredible. I am so touched by all the support, prayers and encouragement. To be honest, I don’t really like talking about this pregnancy because it feels like I’m whining and complaining too much. I don’t want to be fake though, so here goes – my attempt to be honest but not moan and groan the whole time.
Even though I am already 7 1/2 months pregnant, I haven’t gained any weight yet. That’s kind of a weird problem to have, huh? There were a few times that I thought I gained a pound or two and would excitedly call Sergi and my mom, but I always end up losing it. So far, I haven’t gained a single pound. That seems absolutely crazy to me. The baby, on the other hand, is gaining weight just like he’s supposed to and is actually the perfect size. He’s draining it all out of me, apparently. It’s really entertaining to see the faces of the techs when they start doing my ultrasound and are absolutely shocked that the baby is so much bigger than they expected based on the size of my belly:).
I am still having nausea and other GI issues, which is why I’m not gaining any weight and why I desperately need fluids and electrolytes. Right now, I still get IV fluid infusions very day for 5 hours and because of my PICC line and blood clot, get shots every day for that. The doctors are monitoring my labs every week and I also go for office visits every week, from the time I was 28 weeks pregnant and until I deliver. I usually feel good from about 10 in the morning until about 3 in the afternoon. ANY reprieve is a treat though, so I’ll take it.
I am extremely thankful for the days when I feel good and can get some chores done or get out of the house at least for a few hours.
Tea, toast, soups and applesauce are my good friends. Many of you have written me suggestions on what helps relieve nausea. Unfortunately, my nausea is not caused by normal pregnancy hormones, but is caused by my short bowel syndrome, so all the usual remedies don’t work. The pregnancy just really intensified all of my normal GI issues. I think you all are so sweet and thoughtful; it just warms my heart. I have to say it again, thank you so much for your support and prayers.
It is scary thinking about all the things that could go wrong and worrying that I’m not gaining any weight. I have to remind myself to trust in God and try to focus on the positive, but sometimes, those worrisome thoughts still creep in. Since I’m a nurse, sometimes that makes it even worse, since I know too much. Thank God for watching over our baby and keeping his development right on track. Every week when I go for a doctor’s visit, I breathe a sigh of relief when once again, he looks perfect.
As I look back on this past year, the task oriented, type A personality of mine has struggled to accept that I’ve had to put so many goals and plans on hold.
I had to stop working and go on medical leave. The garden I had planned to start did not happen and I was too sick to care. I can start that later.
The videos I was going to record for this blog didn’t happen either. I got behind in blogging, answering comments, e-mails and engaging in social media.
Cooking has always been therapeutic for me, so it feels wonderful when I can spend a few hours in the kitchen and feel like my old self at least for a little while. We end up throwing away so much food, which is AWFUL, but most of the time by the time I’m done cooking, I can’t even look at the food, much less eat it. We’ve figured out that we can deliver the food to our families so it doesn’t go to waste. A lot of the blogging food from the past month was shared with family, which was a great deal for me and them. At least my husband isn’t starving either.
Every year I bake lots of cookies to give as gifts to family, friends, co-workers and neighbors for Christmas. This year, I had to realize that baking cookies wasn’t going to be an option. Besides the few new recipes that I shared on the blog, I didn’t do any holiday baking. Most of those were given away too. The beautiful Mandarin cake? We only ate one slice and took the rest to a family get together. The Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars? Maybe we had 3 pieces, tops. The meatloaf still gives me nightmares, even though I know I would have really enjoyed it normally. The cookies were given away too. Apparently I only like very bland, boring food right now. Having a healthy appetite is so valuable! Don’t forget that, please.
Most house projects didn’t happen either. Not only that, but Sergi had to step in to help with simple home tasks, like cooking, cleaning and laundry.
I really feel like I’ve been hibernating throughout most of this pregnancy and not having any guests over like we normally do or going out for fun outings in the evenings and weekends.
You know what though? Whenever I’m tempted to complain and wallow in self-pity, (and I do complain and feel sorry for myself) I’m reminded of so many things that God has already done and is always doing in my life. There are different seasons in life, and this is just one of them. I know that all of this is only temporary and it’s absolutely worth it for the birth of our Nathaniel – which is why we chose that name, it means “God’s gift”.
I am beyond grateful to be alive, relatively healthy and am so in love with our son and thankful for his miraculous existence. My favorite thing about this pregnancy is the connection I feel with this precious child. I never get tired of feeling him move. Lately he’s been moving so much it’s almost as if he’s turning somersaults in there.
Every day, I realize how incredibly blessed I am to live in this country, in this century and have the benefits of modern medicine. I am able to stay home and receive medical care every day without being hospitalized.
We spent Christmas with my family at my parent’s house in New York. I thought that we wouldn’t be able to go at all this year, but with lots of planning, phone calls and modern conveniences, it all worked out. We flew instead of driving and all my medical supplies were shipped right to their house. How awesome is that?
Even though I didn’t do much at all while we were there, I loved being surrounded by my family and being in my childhood home once again.
We had a beautiful Christmas with my family. This year we really kept it simple and tried to focus on the true meaning of Christmas. It was wonderful. Every Christmas seems to get better and better.
“This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24 I love this verse from the Bible. I also really love this song; it’s been playing on repeat in my mind for months.
Every day that I feel good is like a generous gift straight from heaven. For me, it’s like a breath of fresh air or a drink of water in the desert. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, but I get tearful whenever I get to enjoy a good day, simply because it feels great to feel good.
Even though I sometimes feel like I whine all the time, I also feel extremely thankful, more so than usual, because I don’t take simple things for granted. I really do have “10,000 reasons for my heart to find to bless the Lord and worship His holy name.”